⥂ ~moon/decentralization@ryjmhave you looked at #urbit? you'd automatically get identity + decentralization, and there's a chat app with reference links you could hook into
⥂ ~moon/decentralization@Renaldo_Moonagree - #urbit provides everything you're looking for at the infrastructure level (decentralization, security, sybil-resistance, user-owned data/storage).